CAREGIVERS SUPPORT GROUP
3RD WEDNESDAY EACH MONTH
Glenn UMC Parlor
4:30-5:30 PM
Aubrey and I were well-acquainted with the challenges of caring for family members who could not live independently. We had been the parents of a son who was diagnosed at birth to have Downs Syndrome and lived almost 39 years. Also, Aubrey’s Father who had dementia due to trauma came with Aubrey’s Mother to live with us and our three children in 1975.
So when the Georgia Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association offered a training session in September 2009 for those who would be interested in facilitating a support group for persons with Alzheimer’s or other dementias we were intrigued.
Glenn’s Lay Ministers had noted concern for Glenn members who appeared to be exhibiting dementia type behaviors and agreed that such training would be good experience. Susan Pinson, Aubrey, and I attended the Alzheimer’s Association training. Upon Lay Minister’s recommendation and Glenn Church agreeing to support a caregiver’s group, the three of us attended the training and initiated a Caregivers Support Group at Glenn.
The training emphasized confidentiality, monthly meetings that would be free and open to the public. Providing refreshments was suggested as welcoming and group building, The facilitators are responsible for assuring all attendees an opportunity to share their story and to support others. Providing information about available resources and scheduling helpful speakers are also activities we provide.
The Alzheimer’s Association defines a support group as an open gathering of people with common problems, needs, and interests who come together to share their feelings, thoughts and experiences in a combined effort to cope better with and manage the shared problems of dementia in a safe environment. Support groups do not pay fees to the chapter; they do not have bank accounts, officers or directors. All facilitators are considered volunteers of the Association and are expected to be screened and trained through the Programs Department including cooperating with a criminal background check.
The Alzheimer’s Association Georgia Chapter notes that National has asked us to sponsor support groups held in neutral locations only, thereby avoiding even a whiff of conflict of interest that can complicate group dynamics in a for-profit community.
Our first support group meeting was held on November 18, 2009 with Susan, Aubrey, and me facilitating. Five women and two men were in attendance. The group has met every month since then with the exception of one month when none of the facilitators was available and another when Glenn was closed because of a holiday. Susan sends attendance reports to the Georgia Chapter. The Alzheimer’s Association provides information and visits our meetings periodically.
Results
Some of the issues members have shared and agonized over include:
Relatives - those who are helpful and those who are not
Loved ones getting lost
Travel with loved ones
Cognitive losses including loved one not recognizing grandchildren
Feeling helpless
Narrowing of caregiver’s life
Whether to replace glasses, teeth, hearing aids
Lack of confidence in care provided by hospitals
Transitioning to a care facility
Guilt—is it okay to be mad with mother?
Taking away car keys
Guilt associated with not wanting to visit loved one
Emergency rooms do not deal well with persons with dementia
Feedback from a “surviving caregiver.”
The Caregivers Support Group including Susan Pinson was “a big part of my survival kit. . . . The Wednesday meetings were a way to join with others in similar situations and air our trials and tribulations, along with sharing the funny things and the beautiful experiences of that journey.”
Lay Ministers support the Group in many ways. They have volunteered to be with loved ones while the Caregivers are in their meetings, they have shared their professional expertise at Group meetings; and they provide support for the facilitators.
A basic message for caregivers is to take care of yourself and participate in a support group. The Caregivers Support Group is celebrating ten years of supporting caregivers. The caregivers may be caring for loved ones in their homes or in caring facilities or long distance. All are welcome.
For the caregivers, the support group seems to meet real practical and emotional needs. For us as facilitators, it is a humbling experience to witness firsthand the unconditional love of spouses and adult children (and other family caregivers) journeying together through the heartbreaking struggles of aging. While the group itself is open to all faiths, we share a mutual sense of walking into sacred space in the Parlor each month as unspoken prayers undoubtedly sustain each family.
Carol T. Bush
November 2019